I can’t even recall her saying hello to me… The first thing I remember my mom saying to me is, “That dress makes you look like Suzy Homemaker!”. I’m thinking what the
fuck does that even mean mom?! What does Suzy homemaker even look like, I mean I don’t even know who she is?!
“How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you.”
If you knew my mother you would know that this is all too common behavior from her. Out of my 32 years as her daughter I remember one, wait maybe two compliments from her. One being, “vacuum because you do that better than your sister”… The second time being about 6 years ago when she told me how proud she was of me.. Now I’m not saying she hasn’t complimented me more, it’s just that the criticisms from her play louder in my mind.
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” -Dale Carnegie
It’s hard to be confident around someone who makes you feel so insecure about yourself.. How is it that a mother still has the power to do that to her adult daughter? It’s crazy to me that at almost 33 years old I’m still trying to prove myself to her. Waiting for her to say, “I couldn’t have done it better myself Nicole!” I know that I may never hear that come out of her mouth and most days I’m ok with that. Then there are the days when I see her and she says, “your arms are getting bigger, like your triceps are flabby.” You guys I work out 5-6 days a week and was super proud of my arms until the other day when she said that to me.
“Any jackass can kick a barn door down, but it takes a carpenter to build it.” -Sam Rayburn
As women, mothers or just decent human beings our words should be used with caution. Remember the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”? That’s a load of bullshit! Words can and do hurt! I have allowed her words to get me down since Tuesday y’all! Tomorrow is a new day and my mothers words aren’t going to be playing in my ears! I refuse to let her get to me any longer (until of course I see her again)! I’m a beautiful, smart, and talented woman, not Suzy the homemaker with flabby arms!
“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” -Zig Ziglar