Suzy Homemaker with flabby arms

Suzy Homemaker with flabby arms

I can’t even recall her saying hello to me…  The first thing I remember my mom saying to me is, “That dress makes you look like Suzy Homemaker!”.   I’m thinking what the fuck  does that even mean mom?!  What does Suzy homemaker even look like, I mean I don’t even know who she is?!

“How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you.”

If you knew my mother you would know that this is all too common behavior from her.  Out of my 32 years as her daughter I remember one, wait maybe two compliments from her.  One being, “vacuum because you do that better than your sister”…  The second time being about 6 years ago when she told me how proud she was of me..  Now I’m not saying she hasn’t complimented me more, it’s just that the criticisms from her play louder in my mind.

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn and most fools do.  But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”      -Dale Carnegie 

It’s hard to be confident around someone who makes you feel so insecure about yourself..  How is it that a mother still has the power to do that to her adult daughter?  It’s crazy to me that at almost 33 years old I’m still trying to prove myself to her.  Waiting for her to say, “I couldn’t have done it better myself Nicole!”  I know that I may never hear that come out of her mouth and most days I’m ok with that.  Then there are the days when I see her and she says, “your arms are getting bigger, like your triceps are flabby.”  You guys I work out 5-6 days a week and was super proud of my arms until the other day when she said that to me.

“Any jackass can kick a barn door down, but it takes a carpenter to build it.”     -Sam Rayburn

 As women, mothers or just decent human beings our words should be used with caution.  Remember the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”? That’s a load of  bullshit!  Words can and do hurt!  I have allowed her words to get me down since Tuesday y’all!  Tomorrow is a new day and my mothers words aren’t going to be playing in my ears!  I refuse to let her get to me any longer (until of course I see her again)!  I’m a beautiful, smart, and talented woman, not Suzy the homemaker with flabby arms!

“Don’t be distracted by criticism.  Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”        -Zig Ziglar

My new adventure

For awhile now I have been seeking something new or new to me anyways.  Being a hairstylist in a lease salon the next logical step would be to get my own salon.  That being said I reached out to my former boss/friend/mentor to get his input on my next step.  The first thing he said was “Don’t do it!”  HA!  To be honest I wasn’t  sure that was is even what I was  looking for.  I have been thinking of another idea for a while now, but too scared to say out loud what I was thinking… To be honest I wonder if I’m capable ? What if I suck at it?  What if it is just another one of my crazy ideas that I will be bored with in a month?! Honestly I don’t know the answers to those questions.https://i0.wp.com/madisonvinyl.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/window-condensation.jpg?resize=442%2C359

The other day I got up to have my coffee in peace and quiet before the boys got up only to open the blinds and see that the windows were covered in condensation.  The joys of summer in Texas.  Insert eye roll! But it got me thinking that’s just life.  Some days you wake up and you can’t see past the condensation.  I mean I have two choices, I could take action and go outside and wipe the windows down  or I can just sit in the peace and quiet and wait for the sun to dry it up..  Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a sit around and wait for it kinda girl!

I’m so excited to share with you guys that I feel my next natural step is to expand my services to styling women from head to toe. Whether they are existing clients or women I have never met!  I’m not quite sure what this will entail or how i will go about accomplishing that!  I do know that there is nothing to be afraid of?! I’m not going to suck at this!  MY life is to help women feel beautiful not just with the hair, but the whole person!

Is it all for nothing?

Is it all for nothing?

I had good intentions today on writing a blog on ways not to be a suck ass friend to me.  🙂  But as I sit here in the waiting area for my grandmother to come out of surgery, I feel a sense of sadness for her.  To be 82 years of age and have only two of your family members waiting on you, not even a phone call from your sons to check on you.

Is it all for nothing?  To have selfishly mothered three children and not one of them can show up for you.  To say that they love you, but not show you such is true.  I can say for myself when I do for my own children I’m never thinking that one day they will pay me back..  I do things for them simply because I love them, they are “my” children!  Although I can’t say the same for my grandmother, only because I didn’t have her as a mother.  I do believe however that most parents improve on the parenting they received as children.

I get it, sometimes there are people in your life that are just difficult to be around.  But your very own mother?  You only get one of them in this life.  It’s unfortunate for some that we have no say in the mother we get.  My very own mother (the one that can’t seem to compliment me) isn’t winning awards for her parenting any time soon, but I would still be there for her.  I would show up for my one and only mother.  If it wasn’t for the “mother” I have I couldn’t be the mother I am to my boys today!

Honestly it pisses me off that I have put myself in the position to be my grandmother’s go to person.  All the while enabling her grown sons to be pieces of shit.  It pisses me off that her very own children don’t love her enough to show up for her.  When she asked if they had called and checked on her I told her the truth, her response was far too kind.  Goes to show you that a mother’s (parents) love is truly blind at times.

I think about the unhealthy relationship I have with my own parents and what I can do to improve the one I have with my boys.  My hope would be that we will raise our boys with some amount of respect not only for me as their mother but us as parents.  That they wouldn’t do for us out of obligation but do so simply from love.  That they see that selfishly sacrificing their time for someone in need can mean everything.  That they learn to live a life of service to others.  After all isn’t that what we need more of in this world?

OLD TO NEW LOOKING IN 24 LONG HOURS

OLD TO NEW LOOKING IN 24 LONG HOURS

I have tried multiple methods for cleaning my grout throughout the years of being a home owner.   All of them being temporary fixes.  When I came across Young house love’s post on painting your grout I was so excited to give it a try.  It couldn’t be that hard right?!  I mean, I truly find painting to be an escape from life’s problems.  This however, ended up being a lot more tedious and boring than painting a wall!

I started by cleaning my floors a little, then got right to it!  First I tried using a Chance’s toothbrush to apply the Oyster Gray Polyblend Grout renew that I had found at Home Depot for only 12 dollars!  Ended up that using a small craft paint brush was a lot easier and not as messy.

The Polyblend grout renew is water based, so it’s not too hard to get off the tile if you get a little messy.  I found it was easier just to use my finger along the edge of tile to remove the excess paint.  When the floor is mopped the paint left on the tile comes off easily.  So no worries!

I actually started this project back in June.  Now three months later I have had to force myself to finish it!  I painted two coats of Polyblend around 415 tiles (yes, I just counted them)!!  It “only” took me about 24 hours to complete this.  Which was a lot longer than it took Young house love!  One of the benefits to taking month-long breaks between painting is I realized that the paint is on the grout to stay!

Update: I did however have a couple of spots that paint didn’t seem to stick to ( I’m going blame those mishaps on my half-ass prep cleaning of the floors ).  Since finishing the project I have at least a quarter of the bottle left, a perfect amount for touch-ups.

In the end there are not many projects I do that I quickly regret starting.  This my friends falls into the category of projects I will never repeat.  That being said I do enjoy the results of my hard work.  The grout renew really does give my rooms a bright and clean feeling!  However the next time my grout is looking dirty we will pack it up and buy a new house!  Just kidding, kinda!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fourteen years ago

Fourteen years ago

 

I was just a kid on September 20th 2003, (18 to be exact) a kid thinking the next right thing to do is to marry this guy standing before me.  Now fourteen years later and I think about all that we have been through and accomplished together.

Our two boys who look just like you or as I like to say a prettier version of you.  How much growing up we have done together even at times when it would have been easier to grow apart.  The years have been tough at times, some harder than others.

Someone said to me years ago that you want your husband to love you just a little more than you love him.  Chance, you love me when I’m just plain ugly.  When I’m fat and flabby you love me.  You even love me when I’m throwing up sick and can’t help with the boys who are also throwing up.  You’re truly the sweetest guy I know (that’s not to say you’re not a complete ass some days).

Let me stay focused though..

When Pinterest fails me, you will be the one to finish your plate and say, “Thanks babe, that was great!”.   You make me laugh daily, I think it must be one of your goals in life!  Over the years you have learned to let me be me if you want a happy wife.  You go along with my crazy DIY projects, sometimes you even offer to help.  Although I frustrate you with my need to be in constant change and grow my business you have come to support me.

Man how different are our lives today?  I love the amazing people we have grown up to be.  Our boys have the best parents ever (they will never admit it though and I’m ok with that)!  Do you know that studies show that first marriages for teen women 18 and under are more likely to end in divorce within the first 10 years?!  Add a teen pregnancy to that and the chances of divorce are even higher?!  Bam!!!  We are winners and we didn’t even know it!!!

 

 

 

13 THINGS I WOULD TELL MY 13-YEAR-OLD SELF

 Having a teenager now I can’t help but think of all the things I wish I would have listened to or been told (not that I would have heard any of it!) at his age. Yes, I realize that some of the things that a 13-year-old boy will experience will be completely different than a what a girl will go through at that age and vice versa.  I try to remember that at this age even the smallest thing was huge deal.  One minute you hated the world and the very next you couldn’t love it more!  I can’t go back and tell my 13-year-old self these things but some of them are things I try to beat into my child’s skull on the daily!  That’s a joke people….Calm down…..  Maybe, just maybe one of these things will get through to someone..

 

 

 

                                      

 

1. You’re perfect even in your awkwardness.  Who’s to say you’re not?  Other teenagers? 13-year-old girls are possibly more critical of you than anyone else will ever be.  Just remember to be you no matter what others may say.

 

 

                   

2. Smile!  Do it while your skin is firm and there isn’t a chance of laugh lines and crow’s-feet!

 

 

       

3. You’re not fat and your nose is perfect for your face!  One day you will wish you were as skinny as when you thought you were fat..  You are beautiful, don’t ever forget it!

 

 

       

4. You don’t have to be tough all the time!  Let those guards down a bit, it’s ok to lean on others.

 

 

 

       

5. BOYS ARE DUMB!!  By all means don’t go chasing after boys them!  The one you end up marrying will be the one that chases you! That man will love you more than you could ever love him back.

 

 

 

       

6. You’re just a kid HAVE FUN!  Before you know it you will have to work to pay all the grown up bills you have!  It’s not as amazing as it sounds, believe me!

 

 

 

           

7. Your parents are doing the best they know how, remember this is their first time being a parent to a teenager.  Take from it what you can even if it’s what not to do when you’re a parent..

 

 

 

           

8. Your friends today probably will not be your friends tomorrow!  You will be a very lucky girl to have just one be a lifetime friend…..

 

 

 

              

9. The days and years seem to go by at a tortoise’s pace some days that’s awesome and others it will absolutely suck!  Just remember these days are just a blip on the radar in the grand scheme of life! 

 

 

 

               

10. It’s ok to laugh and even better to laugh at yourself!  Even after you trip and slide 20 feet down a school hallway all the while your “friends” stand there peeing themselves from laughing so hard at your expense.  It’s ok girls, I got this!

 

 

 

                

11. Tupac Shakur’s music will annoy the hell out of your parents, listen to it anyways!  It is just a phase!  One day you will have a teenager who will bless you with new rap music and you will understand why your dad felt that way.

 

 

 

                 

12. Your sister may be an annoying phone hog right now, but one day she will be your very best friend!  Your husband will question why the hell you two talk every day about absolutely nothing..

 

 

 

             

13. Having or getting your period and shaving your legs can wait!  That shit is here to stay once you start..  So lets not rush it!!

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful in MY own skin

Beautiful in MY own skin

It’s easy to look at other women and compare ourselves to them and their seemingly perfect lives on social media.  We aren’t thinking about how many photos they may have had to take to get that “one perfect” photo.  Or how much editing had to be done to get it that way.  I think that’s where we go wrong. We only see the side they allow us to see.  We aren’t seeing that they have the same struggles as us. I can’t compare myself to someone else’s perfect.  I Am perfect!  I’m me!  Today I don’t wish to be them! 

Knowing I’m beautiful is an ongoing process and will forever be!  Some days are harder than others.  I can say from experience that it doesn’t matter how many times someone says that you are beautiful until you yourself “knows” it!  Have you ever heard the expression “fake it til you make it”?  I fake it some days, but less and less as time goes by.  Today I know and feel that I’m a beautiful woman, not only on the outside but inside as well!  As women we naturally fall into the care taker role for family or friends.  That being said it’s easy to let ourselves go for the sake of “happiness” at home or with our careers.  But are we truly happy? Or are we just faking it til we make it?

I think its important for everyone involved that I make time to “love and like” me.  Lets be honest no one is happy if we aren’t!  What can I do today to love me?  Over the years I have learned that exercising makes me feel strong and beautiful.  In turn I feel better in my clothes (they just look better when my muffin top isn’t hanging over my pants).  When we feel confident about who we are we stand taller and people notice!  Even if you have to fake it, stand taller until you will believe it too!  For you it may be a tan or getting your nails done that makes you feel beautiful.  Make the time today to do that.  You are important.